Hey there diva,

Thanks so much for stopping by.  I wanted to share with you that Mocha Motivations has moved to a new home.  Don’t worry you can still grab your cup at http://thepurposediva.com

Hey Teen Girl do you desire to be successful?  Do you want to strut your stuff and have the world take notice?  I am sure you do!

Well, I want to share 5 things that you must have in your life to be successful and not to worry, I am going to keep it short and diva!

Number One:  A Burning Passion
Here me and hear me good diva.  If you are going to experience any level of success you gotta want it and want it bad.  Want it like you want a nice pair of high heels shoes that makes you calf muscles POP!  That’s right you gotta want it that bad.  You gotta see yourself so successful until it scares you.  That burning passion will sustain you during the tough times, and it will push when others try to hinder you.

Number Two: A WHY
Success is really nothing if you don’t know “WHY” you want to be successful.  Your WHY will help you gain clarity and stay focused.  As a teen your WHY may be for more material possessions and that is okay.  We all go through those phases but the older you get, your WHY moves from external to internal.  As you mature, that nice car will not seem as important as the desire to help someone in need.  When you are on that shopping spree you will find yourself picking up a few things for co-worker or someone you know that has hit hard times.  Yes, understanding and getting up close and intimate with your WHY is a game changer.

Number Three: A Mentor
Success can not truly be achieved and maintained without a mentor.   Some of the most successful people in the world today attribute their success to having a mentor in their life.  Someone who shared valuable success principles and words of wisdom. Someone who held them accountable and challenged to move outside of their comfort zone.  A mentor will cut your learning curve tremendously.

Number Four: A True Friend
Success is nothing without someone to share it with.  A good friend is like a great pair of shoes.  No matter where you go, they make you look and feel good.  A true friend will travel with you along your success path and celebrate you and with you every step of the way.  A true friend will listen to your dreams and your presentation a thousand times as if it was the first time they heard it.  A true friend will help you tweak your plan until it is just right.  A true friend will invest in your vision.  A true friend will remind you of just how great you are in those moments when you feel discouraged.  A true friend will give you a kick in the pants at the mention of you giving up.

Number Five: A Written Plan
You must write your plan down.  Know that your plan is a working/live document that can be changed over time but you gotta write it down so you can get it out of your head.  Did you know that there is power in writing things down?  Yes, I said POWER.  When you write things down you are releasing it into the atmosphere, you are activating your faith.  When you write your plan down, it is a powerful reminder of what you are expecting and believing for your life.

So there you have it.  Five simple things that you can do right now to prepare yourself for the most successful life ever.

Then it happened….after about my 1000th time crying out to God to become real to me, I found myself laying prostrate on the floor in my bedroom tired from what seemed like hours of weeping.  A feeling came over me that I am still unable to describe to this day.  It was as if God himself, came down to see about me that night.

That was the turning point in my life.  I wanted to be used up by God.  I was on fire for God and I was not looking back.   In my excitement also came naivety.  I thought everyone else would just as excited for me, boy was I wrong.  God called me into a time of separation and preparation, I shared this with my family and friends because I really wanted them to understand that this was something that I really needed to do and I just knew they would understand.  I found myself alone, friends walked away and I seemed to always be explaining.  It would not be long before I was back before the Lord, crying about the lonliness, the sense of feeling misunderstood, begging Him to help others see that I am just trying to live for Him, the challenges with my health, the loss of my dad….my dad was the one that I could call and just talk to about the isolation and He would always manage to impart divine wisdom to make me feel better and then he was gone….little did I know, it was a divine setup.

God was slowly stripping me of PEOPLE.  If I was going to be truly used by God, I had be delivered from PEOPLE so that I could serve His people.  It would be years before I would truly understand that. Years before I was able to stand tall, stand alone and wait on God to send me new supportive relationships.  God gently but sternly called me out of my comfort zone.  He called me up a little higher and the very thing that made me sad was the very thing that God used to make me stronger and wiser.

Give me a heart for your people Lord

Funny how you can relate more intimately with the servants in the Bible when you have picked up your own cross daily and faced some of the same struggles.  I can understand the jealousy of Saul, I can relate to the boldness of David, I can feel Peter as he denied Christ, I can cry with Mary as she watched her loved one die; I can connect with the suffering of Lot; I can only imagine the struggle of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

To all my brothers and sisters feeling the tug of God on your heart to come up a little higher, to take a stand, to walk in your purpose.  Don’t be afraid of what you might lose but rather think about all that you will gain.  Take it from me, it is soooo worth it.

Take Up Your Cross Daily and Follow Me

Mark 10-29-31 NIV

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

Recently, I spent some time in the hospital due to complications with my heart.  Prior to that there were warning signs that something was wrong.  I was having problems climbing stairs and swelling in what seemed like every inch of my body.  I went for weeks if not months with little to no sleep because I could not lay flat.   Then one night I felt pain in my chest that I had never experienced before.  I have to admit, I got concerned.  Needless to say, within hours I was in the ER and as it turns out not a moment too soon.

Search My Heart O Lord!

After several tests, my team of doctors who were awesome I might add, gave me their report.  I needed to get comfortable because I was going to be there for a while.  Over the next couple of days, they would drain fluid from my body that seem like it could fill up a pool.

A few more days, I was starting to feel better, “Looks like you will be released today, we are just waiting on the results from one last test but if we don’t get it before 5pm be prepared to stay another night” those were the words from my doctor.  It was 9am and with a big smile on my face, I dialed my husband.  By 2pm my smile was starting to fade.  By 5pm, I pushed the button to lower my head and prepared for another night.

The next morning one of my doctors comes by to let me know she was  going to check on the results and be back shortly with the rest of the team.  As promised a few hours later the white coats are walking through the door.  ”Well, Mrs. Denman we were thinking that the ECO would turn out okay and we would let you go home but we are a little concerned right now” and then they gave me the news.  Once again, I pushed the button to lower my head to prepare for a few more days.  Now I have IV bags and wires hanging everywhere.  A few more days passed and I was starting to feel like a new woman. Energy returning and sleeping through the night.  Finally, I’m going home.  Thank You Jesus.

Let's Take A Look

Maybe you don’t have a medical problem with your heart – maybe your heart condition is Spiritual.  Have you noticed the warning signs that are weighing you down: unforgiveness, past hurts, envy, jealousy, pride, control, fear, doubt.  You may need to get to the Heavenly ER as soon as possible.  They have a reputation out of this world. You have a divine team God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  Just share your symptoms and they will get you fixed right up.

Expect to receive instructions which you will have to follow when you return home including follow up care with your local spiritual physician.  If your symptoms return or get worse, return to the emergency room immediately.

Psalms 51: 10-13    The Living Bible
Create in me a clean heart, O God.  Renew a right spirit within me.  Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.  Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.

Let Your Light Shine In My Heart Lord

Have you ever felt the sting from the betrayal of a friend?  Let’s be real, words can’t explain how deep those wounds go and the amount of time it takes for those wounds to heal.  I can tell you from experience that unless you are intentional about releasing people and yourself from that pain you will never truly enjoy your life.  No matter how much time passes, sooner or later you will have to face that pain time and time again.

How do you move past the pain to release yourself when the person that betrayed you and the person you are sick of is YOU?  Have you ever taken the time to reflect back on the decisions you have made and continue to make that put in a position of lack, loneliness, hurt and/or pain?

• How many bad relationships do we have to be in before we realize, I need some help with this thing?
• How many times do we have to go shopping to impress others before we realize that we could have invested that money in our dream or saved that money for our retirement?
• How many times do we have to rob Peter to pay Paul before we realize that we are not good at managing money?
• How many times do we have to fly off the handle when we don’t get our way before we realize that we have control issues?
• How many times do we have to talk about people who are doing what we know we should be doing before we realize that we are lazy and jealous?
• How many times do we have to make commitments and then not keep them to realize that our integrity and character needs some fine tuning?
• How many times do we have to say “The Lord knows my heart” before we admit to ourselves that we don’t really have the discipline to do what we know is right?
• How many times will we allow fear to paralyze us before we get tired of staying where you are?
• How many times do we have to worry about something before we admit to ourselves that we just don’t trust God?

I could go on and on but I think you get the picture.

I remember the day I looked myself in the mirror and shouted to the top of my lungs, “I’m Sick of You!”  I had never cried so much in my entire life.  I begged God to please save me from myself because this is one thing I could not blame on the devil.

I did it…I made the bad decisions, I trusted the wrong people, I told the lies, I was the one with the control issues, I was the one with the bad attitude.  Yep, that was me and let me me tell you – I was so sick of me.  I had to get delivered from me and I thank God I was wise enough to know that I could not deliver myself.

I wish I could tell you that in that moment I was delivered but I would be lying.  What I can tell you is that I knew in that moment that God heard me.  The Holy Spirit full of wisdom comforted me with these words, “Girl, get up off that floor….clean up your face and go to bed…you goin be alright:)  It was as if God was just waiting for me to be get real and get honest with myself.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
How Sick Are YOU?

SCRIPTURE: Psalms 138:8
“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.”

ACTION STEP:
Take a good look in the mirror and verbally shout “I’m so sick of YOU ______________?”
You fill in the blank.  You might be surprised how good you will feel afterwards:)

The mind is a powerful thing and the cool thing about the mind is that in of itself it can not tell fantasy from reality.  So whatever you put in it, it will believe and act as if.  So what’s on your mind?  Do you realize that every action that you take, you thought about it first?  Yes maam, you did.

So when you allow a person to push your buttons, you thought about it first.  You thought about the hurt or rejection you were feeling, you thought about what others might think if you respond in a certain way.  In a split second you will be amazed at how many thoughts run through your mind and in the midst of all those thoughts – one will cause you to respond or react.

The thing about the mind is this, it really does not like to work too much so it stores things in the subconscious for immediate recall.  That is why you find yourself just doing and saying things sometimes without thinking.  Well that is because you have programmed your mind with a file for a particular response in that situation.  When you get mad, you might automatically curse, fight or yell WHY because that is what you have always done. 

Your subconscious mind main objective is your safety and survival so when it feels threatens it will respond accordingly.  Once a response, idea or reaction has been planted and accepted in the subconsious mind, it stays there until you replace it with something else.  This is how we form bad habits and destructive patterns or good habits.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:  Do you MIND your business?  You are a reflection of your thoughts!

SCRIPTURE: Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he

ACTION STEP FOR TODAY.  Monitor your thinking.  Think about a bad file (thinking/response) that you would like to replace.  Answer these three questions:

1. How do I currently respond?

2 How would have like to respond?

3. What can I do to ensure this new response?

I had to shift my thinking because my greatest desire in life is to really have an intimate relationship with God.  I mean I am sooo hungry for it until nothing else really matters.  I want to become more like Christ everyday and empower others along the way to do the same but in order to do that, I MUST study.  I had to transition from simply reading the Bible for the sake of reading to studying the Word of God.

I had to change my whole thinking of seeing that book as the Bible to seeing that book as the Word of God, the very breath and voice of God waiting to speak to me. When you study the Bible you are meditating on the Word, you are praying for divine revelation through the Holy Spirit so that you can and here is the big one…are you ready….apply what you have studied to your own life.  See real Bible Study is not about impressing others with your knowledge.  No…no…no….real Bible Study is about an internal transformation through application and that my sister is what people will see and be drawn to.  That is how you SHOW God just how much He means to you.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Who holds the intimacy of your heart in their hands?

SCRIPTURE: 2 Timothy 2:15 AMP

Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.

ACTION STEP:

Make a commitment to spend a few minutes with God at least once a week.  Right now I am studying the books of Acts, you are welcome to join me.

Hey young lady, how are you doing this morning?  Grab and cup and pull up a chair.  I have a question for you.  Are you harboring any ill feelings towards anyone? Are you holding on to something that someone did to you in elementary school, middle school, high school and/or college. Are you walking around with a hard heart because you are not willing to forgive?

Today, I want to encourage you to FORGIVE.   When you forgive it does not mean you forget but it does mean that you take your power back.  Whether you know it or not when you hold on to negative things done to you, you give that person all your power.  Power of creating stress and tension by the mere mention of their name.  Power to ruin your day when they come into your presence.  Power to push your buttons with a look or stare.  Trust me sister, no one is worth that much of your energy.  Release them and more importantly, release yourself.

I know what you are thinking but Coach Leslie it is so hard.  You are right especially if it was an adult you trusted, a so-called best friend that is why you can not do it in your own strength.  Seek the Holy Spirit for the knowledge and understanding to forgive.  Ask for the strength and wisdom to forgive.  Pray and ask God to help you to forgive.

When the Holy Spirit begins to move, each and every time gets a little easier.  You are able to hear their name without stressing out, you will be able to see them and within a few moments they are a distant memory.  Before you know it, you will be able to even speak to them and not feel like your heart is about to burst out of anger and fear.  Oh when you invite the Holy Spirit to take charge, He gets the job done.  He may even require that you ASK for forgiveness.

I know, I know you might now have anything wrong.  When God is trying to stretch you, He will require you to do things that will crucify your flesh.  As Christians we are not to walk by how we “feel” we are to live by the word of God.  If asking for forgiveness is what it takes – then you must be willing to do it.

In asking for forgiveness you are not admitting any right or wrong done.  Your mission should be to share that you were harboring some ill feelings about a particular situation and now you want to release yourself and that person so that you can take charge of your life.  You might be shocked to find that the other person had no idea that you were that deeply offended and may just ask you for forgiveness.  In that moment, a relationship can be restored. You might not be the best of friends but you can at least be cordial and trust me no one will be mad but the devil.

Sometimes good people do terrible things and for the most part people are doing the best that they can and it is up to us as believers to show people a more excellent way.  I am not going to lie to you, it gets tough sometimes taking the high road but the payoffs are so worth it.

Now lil sister there will be some people who will want to keep you on the hook.  Some will use this ole “If I have offended you, I am sorry line.”  I am always amazed at that because I am thinking, it is not IF because I just told you that you DID offend me:)

Many of us hold on to unforgiveness for the perceived “payoff’.  We like the attention it brings us when we rehash it over and over again.  Someone of us have been telling the same sad story for months and even years.  Many of us have allowed our heart to become so hard that we can not even see how the unforgiveness has caused us to walk in denial. We are angry and tell ourselves that no one understands.  We feel that everyone is wrong but us and so we wear the hurt and pain like a badge of honor.

Ask yourself how many people are walking around with bitterness in their heart because of something that you have said or done?  Whether you meant it or not.

Remember what you do for others, God will do for you.  Forgiveness frees you so that you can grow and go in Christ.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Are you holding on to any offense and why?

TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Forgive someone for an offense. Pray and see where the Lord leads you.  Will he require that you speak with that person or just release them and yourself through prayer.

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: Matthew 6:12-15
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Your Purpose Partner,

Coach Leslie

Everyone desires to be successful on some level in their life.  Teens are no exception.  For many teens success is defined by material things.  I remember wishing for those very same things myself.  The funny thing about wishing is nothing happens.  You can wish and wish all day long but to be successful, you must be prepared to take action.

The truth is, the older you get – your idea of success will change.  You will soon realize that success is not all about material things and money but simply products of success.  Success is about opportunities and influence.

Here are 7 things you can do right now to get started:

1. Make the decision. Before you accomplish anything, you must make believe that success is possible for you.  Many desire to be successful but that is as far as it goes.   To be successful, you have to take it a step further….you must make the decision to be successful.   That decision must be based on your efforts.  You can’t depend on someone else, you can’t wait for someone else.  You have to own your success.  Don’t worry about how it is going to happen.  You job right now is to believe that it will happen.

2. Find someone who is successful in the area you want to achieve success. Be careful here because there are alot of people who put alot of effort into LOOKING successful.  They wear the clothes, drive the car and live in the house but upon closer observation you notice the sadness, the loneliness and you also notice they produce no fruit.   As the saying goes, “Success leaves clues”.  When looking for someone successful check the fruit(s).  Do they give? are they humble? do they have a good track record? are they respected? do they operate with integrity? are they accountable? do they live a balanced life? are they caring? who do they hang out with? does their walk match their talk? .  All of these are signs of success.  Remember alot of people do and say the right things with the wrong motives.

3. Get a Mentor. Everyone who has ever achieved any level of success had a mentor so why would you be any different.  A mentor can cut your learning curve almost in half.  A good mentor will challenge you, stretch you and hold you accountable.  This is not a best friend….no way…..this is someone who has been there and done that and willing to share their experience to create opportunities for you.  When you are find someone who is successful in the area in which you desire to achieve success, ask them to be your mentor.

4. Be Prepared to Pay the Price. Success comes at a high price.  This is the reason so many people never experience true success.   Success requires discipline, sacrifice, hard work and perseverance.  Are you willing to pay that price?  Are you willing to be misunderstood by friends (so-called)?  Are you willing to be criticized?  Are you willing to not be invited to the parties because you are now acting funny?  Are you willing to stay up long hours when everyone else is sleeping?  Are you willing to give up shopping and social activities to invest in your vision?  Oh yes there is a price for success but it is so well worth it.

5. Take Action Daily. If you have read this fair then you are serious about being success because success is all about action.  Each and every day you must do something no matter how small to move your vision forward.  This requires discipline, goal setting and execution.  No one really cares about your dream if there is no action behind it so take action daily.

6. Never, Ever Quit. I think that speaks for itself.  Quitting is not an option.  Yes you are going to get tired.  Yes you may fall off the wagon.  Yes things may not turn out the way you think they should.  When you feel like giving up go back to step one and start all over again.   When you feel like throwing up your hands, know that you are in good company.  We have felt that way at one time or another but hang in there.   Call up a good friend that supports and celebrates you.  Reach out to your mentor.  Pray. Take a break. Re-evalaute.  Remember there is no failure…..only feedback.

7.  Celebrate Your Success. Whenever you accomplish a milestone on your journey to success CELEBRATE.  This will give you the motivation to keep going and it will be an inspiration to your family and friends.  My mentor shared with me a powerful statement one day at lunch, “You can tell your REAL friends by the way they handle/celebrate your success”.   I know this to be true.  You are going to be amazed at the people who celebrate you and the others that don’t.  God will begin to slowly weed out the frienemies.  Don’t mourn them….let them go because God is just making room for true friends and expanding your circle of influence.

Tune in next week and I will share even more Tips for Success.

QUESTION FOR TODAY: How serious are you about your Success?

CHALLENGE FOR TODAY: What one action can you take today to move your vision forward?

SCRIPTURE FOR TODAY: Joshua 1:8 NIV

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

To Your Success,

Coach Leslie

It’s back to school week and for many teens this is the most exciting week of their life.   You get to see ole friends that you have not seen all summer.  There is a bunch of hugging and screaming, and ohhh so much catching up to do.  Then HE appears.  My God, did he change over the summer or what.  He did not look like that in May….hold up….wait a minute, “who is the new guy?”

Well you hold up there diva there are few things you must know before you change your Facebook status to In A Relationship!

The First Thing You Must Know: Know Who You Are
When you make the decision to date, it is critical that you know who you are.  Dating is as much about you as it is the other person.  You are inviting a boy into your circle so you better make sure that you have something to offer or they won’t be there long. When I say know who you are, I am asking about more than what grade you are in, your favorite color, your best friend.  All of that is good but I want to gain a deeper sense of who are you are.  I want to know you.  Think about it.  You are with you 24/7 -365 but how much do you really know about you?

Who you are is a direct reflection of your values and belief systems.  Your values and belief systems are determined for the most part by life experiences, family and community influences and peers.  So who are you really?

The Second Thing You Must Know: Know Where You Are Going
To begin any journey you must first know where you are going.  Let’s face it…dating too early can take you a whole lot of places.  The goal is to know what your goals are for your life.  What aspirations do you have?  What do you want to be when you grow up?

If you are a freshman in high school, you have 48 months until you transition into the real world.  If you are a sophomore you have 36 months.  If you are a junior you have 24 months and if you are a senior, diva you have 12 months.  Are you prepared?  What college are you attending?  Do you meet the requirements?  How are you going to pay for it?  Do you have your life mapped out for the next two to three years because who are you has to match up with where you are going and setting goals will help you get there a lot sooner.

So many girls and boys get caught up in the here and now and loose sight of the fact that they will be teenagers for only 7 seven years.  They look for instant happiness in another person without realizing that happiness starts within.  When you are clear about where you are going, you are excited about your future.  You recognize that relationships can be a distraction with: pressure to have sex, STIs, the arguing, and oh so much drama.

The Third Thing You Must Know: Know What You Want
Now this a big one!!!  When I ask most girls what they want in a boyfriend, I get feedback like, I want him to be nice, honest, respectful, loyal.

All of that is well and good but when you first see a boy can you determine all that by looking at him?  Heck no… The first impression is always physical. Think about it when you see a nice looking boy, what comes to your mind?  And don’t be with your girl friends you start to say things like, “Girl he fine”  “He’s hot”  “I want that”

Now how do you know you really want that if you have clearly defined what you want in a boyfriend?  This is why so many teens find themselves in abusive or obsessive relationships.  They have no idea who they are or what they want so they settle for whatever or whoever comes their way.

There is so much I could say on the subject but this is a blog not a book.  Speaking of book, you can get the last two things every girls much know about dating in my 5 Things Every Girl Should Know About Dating e-book to be released September 2010.  In this e-book, I coach you through each step and together we develop a blueprint for your ideal boyfriend.  Plus, there is a bonus of 101 questions to ask your potential friend to ensure that he is right for you.

So join my mailing list today to be among the first 100 to receive my e-book FREE.

QUESTION FOR TODAY
Are you REALLY ready to start dating?

TODAY’S CHALLENGE:
Get in the KNOW.  Know who you are.  Know where you are going.  Know what you want.

Scripture: Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:  Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Your Purpose Partner,

Coach Leslie